New year punye azam?
Hmm, I dont know. Too many resolutions. I think I'm going to skip that one. Bye
Okay I know its already 11:51 pm and I'm not in my room. I'm outside! Haha. I'm having a serious time with the wifi coverage here. Damn you wifi! Actually I'm waiting for Adam Jamil on skype, but he's not here yet. Adam, where the hell are you?! =.=' Lambat gila okay. So, as said I will tell you about Adam here.
Hmmm, adam eh? Adam, die gila. HAHA. No no. He's funny. He has a way to make me laugh. He tries to find a way to keep me laughing. You did a very good job keeping me gila gila lah Adam. FYI, I dont usually call him Adam. I call him Damdam. Macam name manja like that :p And of course he calls me by other name, and its Shashon. Haha. I have no idea kenapa Shashon but sokay Damdam, I dont mind :) There's a lot of things about Damdam that I soooo wanted to tell you guys but lets keep it safe first. Taknak cerita lebih2.
Sebenarnye aku dah naik seram duduk kt luar nh. Bukan ape, kt luar nh byk lipas D; omg omg. gua shin cioau dulu!
And and, kt sini jugak aku kenal this guyyyyyyyy :) Name die tataw so aku panggil die 'Bro'. First time jumpe dkt skatepark sini. Die tgh skate and aku dtg situ nk tgk sbb nty aku nak main rollerblade aku kt situ. Then borak2 lah dgn die, tye die dari mane blah blah blah. Okay, itu satu.. Lagi satu, hmmm name die pon tataw jugak tp aku panggil 'Spiky' :) . Taw die masa MSK ( jangan tye MSK nh ape ) . Aku panggil die Spiky sbb rambut die. Okay, rambut die cacak sumpah lain drpd yg lain. Kt sini mmg byk rambut pacak tp die sorg jea pacak lain mcm. And so far aku nmpk die sorg jea yg pakai Supra kt sini. pfftt =.=' tp waddahell, die cute lah bodoh.
Banyak tak cerita aku? Tak eh? Okay. Selain dr cerita dalam poli, cerita luar poli pon ade. Nak cerita pasal Adam Jamil tp mcm segan ah! hahaha. Nantilah cerita. Okay bye
Today jugak I met my grandma. She cried after giving me a hug. Opah, angah sayang opah okay? Opah jaga angah dari kecik lagi. Eventhough bile angah dah besar nh angah slalu buat hal dgn opah, slalu bgon lmbt, nk buat mcm mane lagi kan. Angah tetap sayang opah :') I'll always be your favourite grand daughter.
And to my family, mama, ayah, thanks for all your sincere support. My parents are by far the most loving parents ever. Okay I know korang ade lagi loving but I think I'm enough with mine. I love my family. My family is at the number 1 spot. My adik2, aku tak sayang korang. Korang suka buat taik dgn aku. Aku yg kakak nh lah korang nk buli. =.=' so not nice.
And lastly to my one and only sayang, Juno. Baby, I won't be long there okay? I'm gonna miss you really REALLY bad! Nty kite suruh kakcik jaga Juno elok2 k? I love you too much Juno. I'm gonna miss you every single day. I mean every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every month! haa every ape lagi?! Aku sayang kau gila babi taw! I will always do. :')
Fuhh, penat type. So, guys, pray for my survival there. HAHA. And always have me in your mind, because you guys are permanently in mine. =.=' :D Goodnight!
Lots of love and xoxoxoxoxoxoxox,
So Tasha, what did you do today? :
Takde buat ape pon. Mula2 pegi skolah pegi cop cop apejadah tah. Lepastuh pegi makan dkt mcd dgn zeera. Then balik rumah, back to same o same o life!
And that's basically what I did today. Bosan kan? Nicee. Babai
Hey hey guys. Hmm I'm pretty bored tonight. Seriously there's nothing entertaining now except this cute girl singing this song. awww :) Today, I spent my day at Shah Alam. Early in the morning dah kne bukak mata and head down to DEMC Shah Alam for my medical check up. Doctor cakap Natasha, awak normal. Doc, saya mmg normal. =.=' Muka saya nh ade nmpk mcm org tak waras kea? Mungkin sbb saya dtg dgn muka baru bangun tido tp itu normal doc. Okay whatever. Lepas pegi hospital, me and my kakak sedara, Kak Ana, went to the bank to get some $$$$ man! woohoo today I'm a freaking rich woman! elehh not much pon. Oh oh! Otw to the bank I met with one of my old friend since we were in darjah5. His name is Ariffin Ramlee. Weee comel lah die. haha. Kalau kau baca nh ipen, aku tak ikhlas ckp tuh. hehe. And then me and my cousin went for lunch at KFC 13. My treat! haha. Diam ah. Then off to my cousin's hse to rest. Tired man! Lepastuh balik rmah. Okay bosan! =.=' bye
And and and, I cant cant wait for January to arrive. January, sila cepat sikit okay? Me and Atiq are planning this awesome party for our birthday. Hopefully it turns out well-planned. It's not like I always celebrate my birthday with my pals aite? Jyeahh. So, I'm turning 19, hehe and hey, what's wrong with a little fun? Just a little. Won't hurt nobody :) I won't tell where or when this party will be. Still in discussion dohh. Then I asked myself " Tasha, what do you expect for your special day? " Okay. Soalan cepumas. Kacang mamak. My friends, and umm maybe a boyfriend? Oh Oh! And of course presents sial. Nak dtg lenggang, makan pastuh blah mmg aku tembak sorang2. Takdelah. I'm just joking around *not.
Sambung balik hal poli tadi. Okay. Hmm. Of course when I got there, I'm gonna miss my friends, but who I miss the most is my Baby Juno. Hmm. Nty pagi2 I wont be waking up next to you :'( I wont be playing with you often. Uhuhuh. Ketua Poli, boleh tak aku bawak kucing aku skali? Sbb die jea yg pandai kejut aku pagi2. Kalau tak mmg aku tak bangun kot. Damn! Seriously man! I'm gonna freaking miss Juno. She's like my bestfriend I can't afford to lose. *bukan main lagi kan? family? Of course rindu family doh. Tp adik2 aku tak. Sume asyik buat taik ngn aku jea, malas nk rindu korang. Then, on Saturdays, I won't be joining my family going out anymore. Korang jalan lah tanpa aku. =.=' *sigh.
Well, I guess thats all chicks and dicks. Aku malas nk type byk2 tp korang tak baca. Okay, here comes regret. HAHA. aitte, chiaou !
So, this is for you. And I hope that you're happy with your decision and em', hopefully there would be someone far more better than I do, someone more perfect for you. Lastly, I forgive you :')
-I have a huge fear of bugs, especially Cockroaches. Flying ones sucks!
-I don't eat vegetables. =.='
-I have flaws. I mean, banyak.
-I'm not good at first date. *sigh
-Okay. For almost 6years bercinta, I've never cheat with any of my exs.
-I don't have flawless skin you guys. =.='
-I love my Juno more than I love anything else. hehe
-I smoke. Yes =.='
-Oh, I dont socialise a lot. But hey, I'm friendly though :)
-I hate when I feel like there's habuk under my feet.
-Uhh uhh! I love eating Milo itself. Sedap bodoh
-I play the piano and guitar. And I'm not good at both.
-Did I mention that I'm humble and modest ? ;)
-Sometimes when I'm bored, I start to dance around in my room.
-I'm 18 but I don't really act like one. So?
-I love beaches and I hate bithces.
-The things I love most about myself are my hair and my eyes. haha thefak!
-I've never received any flowers or sweet stuffs from any of my boyfriends. Kesian kan?
-Oh yeah, I pick my nose when my head goes blank. HAHA diam lah
-I have this dream of sitting on a beach all by myself witnessing the sun and the skies. :')
-I'm a creative sorta person. Birthday present kawan2 aku hand-made bhai.
-Music is like blood that runs through my veins.
-When I eat a lot, I'm not getting any fatter. And when I dont eat, I only stayed that way =.='
-I love to write. From essays, poems, lyrics or whatever that needs to write.
-When it comes to chocolate, I'm like its number 1 fan, no no, forever its fan.
-Oh this one you guys should know. I HATE PEOPLE WHO TORTURES ANIMALS ESPECIALLY CATS!
-And I also hate people who botak kan tanah to build stupid-then-left-abandoned building. STUPID!
-Sometimes, I'm a greener kinda girl. 0:)
-No, I don't look like Stacy AF. err, die lagi lawa dr aku =.='
-I love love love long romantic dates. awwww :')
-I dont do sexy. So I love wearing jeans and tees.
-Uhh uhh! I like talking to tourists. HAHA. " Yes sir? Need any help with directions? " ^^
-I speak English most of the time. Since I was just a kid.
-I soooooo hate NUMBERS! I hate counting. haha
- Imma good adviser and supporter when my friends confront with love problems. But when it comes to me, I have never been lucky in my love life. *sighhh
-Mama always get angry with me because I love to buy new clothes but only wear it a couple of times. heheh
- Oh lastly, I'm not as good as I look in my pictures. :)
Okay, change topic. I still miss him. We havent talk to eachother for like a couple of days now. I feel so lonely, really. Right now, I'm always feeling so sick. I don't eat a lot. I sleep a lot. I stayed up late like..now. Bad habits just getting worst. I dont know when is this going to last. I havent got any clue why you treat me this way. But maybe you dont know me so well. I'm not the kinda person who gives up so fast. I never back down when it comes to dealing with someone I love. Eventhough it hurts inside, I believe that I'll always have the stronger side of me. Always smile when I feel like sighing. Always laugh when I feel like crying. Always walk when I feel like lying. And always love when I feel like hating. I miss you FSBJ. So badly missing you. When will you realize this? Like are you even reading this? Hmm. I know " Happiness don't last forever. It'll only last maybe for seconds, minutes, hours, days or weeks. " You will only feel happiness for awhile and then you'll get back to your normal life. Sometimes its hard for me to go to sleep without you singing me song or specifically giving song lyrics before I sleep. And and, I really miss our second date in the car. You hold me tight, your head on my shoulder. Then you teach me how to french because, damnn I'm not really good at it. :p And how hard it is to let you go before we get back to our lives. After one hug, you hold me by the hand and I would go " awww one more one more " and another hug. :') Then after I got out the car, you said I Love You with a smile. And damnn, I slept smiling that night man! Jeezz. What more can I ask when I just want you in my life and I consider that as enough. But now, things are starting to fall apart. Little by little I feel like losing you. Sayang, I dont want that! Losing you means losing myself. Losing my faith, hopes and dreams. Maybe, thats what you want me to feel? Is it?
Oh look here dumbassess, my wishlist! :
- move out move out!
- A brand new piano
- A car
- New cell
- Polaroid camera
- Rollerblade. *fucking want this
- Happier family and Juno <3
- All my babes and dudes.
- and lastly, omg I hate mentioning this. A good-hearted, loyal, honest, romantic, caring, would do just about anything, loving, sweet blah blah blah boyfriend.
Our second date was the most memorable one. That feeling when I'm with you won't slip away that easy. I kept thinking of it everytime I miss you. And when I feel like singing with you, I turn on our song Your Guardian Angel . Then I would smile and forget about my breakdowns. I don't wanna forget how you first hold my hand, how you first lean your head against me, how you look at me even if I can't really see where your eyes are, how you first touch my cheeks just to cheer me up, how you first kiss me on the cheeks and lips and how you first said I Love You to my face. Sayang, there's no forcing in love. I won't force you to love me and all. But once you mentioned it, my heart for one second, believed. If you're reading this, I'm sorry if I'm wrong. Some people just ain't that good at this, but me, I wanna be better. Just for you :')
And, HUGE and a MILLION thanks to all my shizzow for making my day a better one :) May Allah bless you all. I would be caught dead without you. hearts and kisses and hugsss
So, pagi esok kena fikir nak pakai. Just keepin it simple. Malas nak pakai gah sgt sbb first day kn kne dgr ceramah berjam2 tuh jea kan. So ilek dulu lahhhh. Hmm pakai tshrt biase, jeans dgn sneakers baru yg mama baru beli :) And esok kne bangon pagi pukul 7. NOOOO! huhu but whatta do. Terpaksa. :) I guess thats all !
Well, I guess thats all. Not much huh? Im tireddddd -.- ciaou
But you don't know me. I'm not the one who's easily give up. I wont! Because I hold strong to my principe BELIEVE and HOPE. I don't know how is this going. It was going okay at first and then it turned out wrong. Is it wrong for me to act this way when the problem that caused me this way is you? Can you tell me honestly? Why do you have to tell me that you're not interested in anyone but you really do? I don't care if you're being honest! The way you lie makes me stick to myself to wait for YOU! and thats TORTURING! omg omg OMG! :'( I think it was my mistake either to let you slip away and not try to step up and tell you how I feel but I also don't wanna be the one to speak it out alone.Okay, let me tell you a story. Every single day, there's always something that reminds me of you. Everytime I turn on the tv, there's the song we both like. Then the actress you like. and when I turn on my facebook, I turn into any page, your picture would be there next to the ads side. and when it's night, I usually dreamt of you. Not us together but you're in the picture. Once, I dreamt, I was sitting at a restaurant, eating. Then you, came out of nowhere, took a bench and sit behind my back and hold my hand. I felt it. I felt you touched me. Your image was crystal clear not like any other dream when it was blurry to recognise. You see? Why you? Why not somebody else when my dream can be about anyone else? I'm not trying to tell you that we're meant to be together. I don't know what to tell you! This is just so sick. I think I don't know what to do now. I guess we'll just see where this goes. :'(
And this is my creativity side. The Human Vs The Cartoons. Hehe cute aite? So basically this is what I do to kill boredom. And it worked! I' no longer bored. But now, I am. How sad is it? F*&$%#$#%. Well, I guess thats about it. Chao
Well, I would love to wish you guys Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri . Haha I know its still early to wish but who knows I might not get the chance to do so. Nauzubillah... Anyways, have fun this raya. Datanglah rumah aku kalau ade buat open house. hehehe
I just can't keep waiting. All thats been running inside my head is " give up give up! " like hey, whattha. I know his intentions and obviously I've taken it the wrong impression. Maybe ? I'm sorry. It's just so hard for me to take it
So you know my Baby Juno right? yeah that's her right there. All growned up :] I'm so proud that you've grown so big and healthy. You're the only cat I think I can never replace because I love the way when I took you to my bed you would play with my hair, sit on my stomach, lay next to me after I fell asleep. I love the way you ran so quick after I called your name to feed you and you would run so fast then stop right infront of me and stare me with those tigery eyes. I love you okay Juno? I would have to leave guy's issues just because of you. I don't have to cry anymore because I'll always have you to cheer me up. We'll stay together as long as we can.
p/s : Don't try to steal this picture. It's genuinely mine :]
So yesterday, me kakcik iman mama and ayah went out for raya shopping. I got 2 new jeans. Just jeans -.- baju kurung, not yet. We only went to Sogo KL. Then we went berbuka at Mohd Chan Abdullah Cina Muslim Restaurant. Man! I ordered nasi goreng seafood and a fresh orange to burst my thirst. Alhamdulillah it was the best food to buka puasa. ahhhh :) I guess thats it
Ohh! And I miss kuih cara. It's a must for every fasting month. yummyyy
And finally, the last day there. They headed back home while I went for another vacation in Cherating, Kuantan. Haha
But I dont have the pictures in Kuantan. We forgot the camera, but all I know I had fun eventhough I suffer a little pain in the back, my arms and legs, err, but it's fun :) I went to the beach, and DIPPED in :D went swimming at the pool, blah3, it's fun. So I guess thats all :)
4. Had sex: forbidded!
5. Bought something: Nothing
6. Gotten sick?: Nop
7. Been hugged?: Nop :(
8. Felt stupid?: Sometimes
9. Talked to an ex: Yes
10. Missed someone: very much
11. Failed a test: that's last year
13. Danced: Havent got any mood to do so
14. Gotten your hair cut?: nop
15. Lied: Yes
16. Nervous habits?: comb my hair
17. Are you double jointed?: nop
18. Can you roll your tongue?: of course boleh
19. Can you raise one eyebrow?: Huh boleh sgt
20. Can you cross your eyes?: Yes
21. Do you make your bed daily?: YES
22. Do you think you are unique?: No. I'm normal
HAVE YOU EVER...
23. Said "I Love you": Yes && regret
24. Given money to a homeless person: A long time ago
25. Smoked?: -.-'
26. Waited all night for a phone call?: yes :(
27. Snuck out?: Aaaa YES :D
28. Sat and looked at the stars?: yeahh, i love em
29. Do you swear/curse?: generally, yes I do
30. Do you ever spit?: Yes because of Question 25
31. You cook your own food?: sometimes
32. You do your own chores?: I do everyones chores -.-
33. You like beef jerky?: aaaa no?
35. You're happy with your life?: yeah, can't get enough of it -.-
36. You own a dog?: HARAM!
37. You spend your money wisely?: No.
38. Do you like to swim?: Yes.
39. When you get bored do you call a friend: Once. haha
DO YOU PREFER...
41. Flowers or angels?: Flowers please
42. Gray or black?: Grey
43. Color or black and white photos?: B&W
44. Lust or love?: Love
45. Sunrise or sunset?: Sunset. awww :']
46. M&Ms or Skittles?: Both both!
48. Staying up late or waking up early?: Staying up late. :D
49. Being hot or cold?: Cold
50. Winter or Fall?: Winter. London! Take me there please!
51. Left or right?: Righttttt...
52. Having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: 10 acquaintances
53. Sunshine or rain?: Rain. :)
From left : Me, Kak Ana, Alisya, Kak Long, Acap, Kak Iqa, Akip, Along. (Kuantan, Pahang)
I could never hate any of you because you have been a piece of a jigsaw puzzle in my life. Trying to fit in to my life, eventhough knowing that a few have been backstabbing, ignoring is the best way.
And to end this long and fuckingly annoying topic, I hope that I wont meet any imbecile who tries to tear my world and shread it like Oh FUCK YOU'RE EVIL AS HELL! Goodnight readers, stalkers, observers or wtv.
And lastly, I hope I will find myself a person, who needs me more than he wants me because hey, if you need someone to tell you "Thats okay. I will always be here for you" , you can always count on me. You can never know how hard I've been trying to learn how to never let someone I love down, but yeah, surprisingly, you guys did a nice job. And oh yeah, I miss hugs && kisses. :)
- tell me I'm all you want
- tell me I'm all you have
- tell me you can be trusted
- tell me you can be honest
- tell me you can be considerate
- tell me you can be there for me
- tell me you are the One.
- tell me you adore me
- tell me you need me
- tell me you want me
- tell me you like me
- tell me you LOVE me.
Originally written by ; Natasha
- Needing someone to talk to?
- Needing to hear someone singing to your ears?
- Wanting a Goodnight wish with kisses and hugs?
- Craving for pampering and love?
- Sleeping with a smile and when you wake up in the morning to get another smile?
- Well currently, this is happening to me. Oh God, I miss those days. My phone hasn't been ringing for quite a time. And my credits aren't running low. Why can't I, STILL get over this? Babi lah.
" Okay, sorry emo lebih. Biaselah. Dah malam. Paham2 jelah. Aku nh mood tak betol. Malam2 mmg mcm pantat. Paling benci. Time malam lah aku nk 'huhu', 'sigh'. Terok kn? Kalau nk igt balik time 2009 backwards, malam2 mcm nh, aku sebok buat homework kea lepak2 kea. Skang? Yarghhh! Super irritating... Eh, ada call lah ! Bye
Lots Of xoxoxo ; Natasha
" Good Friends are like stars. You can't see them but you know they're always there.. "