5months and still strong

It has been 5months, being a loner douche single swagger. 5months dude! The longest period so far. But throughout the 5months, hmm it wasn't that bad being a loner. Still talking to him. And I dont think I'm expecting someone new. I dont think that I'm ready yet. Its just painful to love again. I don't know why, I just don't have that feeling anymore. What I use to feel back in the days, now there's no more. I don't like guys flirting me. Duhh! I'm not comfortable okay? cuz sometimes I felt like, if a guy tries to flirt, I'm scared that I would end up making the most stupid mistake falling for it. Its not a good thing-really. And now, labelled as a free bird, I vowed to not start a bad habit. I forbid myself from cutting my hair short, smoking, drinking, over-socialising etc. Because you know, most of the reason girls do these kinda things is because frustration over break ups. Damn. Oh yeah, + suicide. Damn and dumb. Plus, its not like I'm not going to find someone else in the future. There must be someone, right? Anyone? Hmmm :(
And lastly, I hope I will find myself a person, who needs me more than he wants me because hey, if you need someone to tell you "Thats okay. I will always be here for you" , you can always count on me. You can never know how hard I've been trying to learn how to never let someone I love down, but yeah, surprisingly, you guys did a nice job. And oh yeah, I miss hugs && kisses. :)