Huwaaa!! D;

What's wrong with me? I'm depressed! And you wanna know why? Because I'm a COMPLETE FAILURE!

This is torturing me. I kept having dreams about him over and over again, and hoping for it to come true, BUT IT WON'T!

I'm sorry, but I've tried to forget you and go on, but I can't and I'm sorry. It's just sometimes there're things in life that I can't just let it go that easy. It may take a little or not too little time for me to overcome this. It's hard. Because everywhere I go, there's always something or someone that reminds me of you. Like whenever I see the name Jason, i think of you. Whenever I heard the song you used to sing, I think of you. Whenever I stop by the place we've been to, I think of you. And can you tell me, how can I stop thinking of you?

There's a saying : Friends come and go,

Moneys come and go,

Boys come and go,

But, Family don't come and go. ( do you have any idea what does this saying have to do with my situation? lol)

Will there be a new me?

So, I've been thinking about changing. My style, my attitude, my purpose. Will it work out? After a hard life I've been through, I decided to remove the old lame me. The new me will be fun and outgoing and yaddaa yaddaa.

It's just that after I broke up with him, life seem so different. I mean, life wants me to be different. I don't think I wanna love anyone by now. Love is being so unfair to me. I've been fair enough, du'uh. But its just no luck for me, again. Arhh, let it go Tasha. Enough is enough. What's done is done. Let bygones be bygones. If he comes back, I'll consider. But if he doesn't, I'll make him. haha joking.

I'm unlucky and this is reality. Friends told me that maybe its not my time yet. My Mr.Right ain't here yet. But I'm freakin jealous seeing every girl get the chance to be happy with a guy, why can't I?? mother F. errr.

And dear R, all I wanted you to know that all my life, I have never wanted this to happen. Not just with you, but with all the guys I've been with. Hopefully, you'll give me another chance to prove that I can love someone not for their wealth/looks/popularity/whatsoever. I just wanted to love and to be loved, with you :']

xoxoxo,

Natashaforsure.<33

Dear you,

I don't understand why. Maybe it's not meant to be us, and I've tried everything to make sure you stay. I don't wanna lose you. But you gave up on me and thought that maybe I would be better off without you. You've changed parts of my life. I enjoy knowing and being with you. You truely made me in love with you. I just love you so much, hopefully you know that if you don't. I just hope you would give me a chance. :'(

P/S : I love you, Rahman.