Back to memory lane...

first of all, thanks Kakna for spending your time with me today. Eventho it wasn't that much but I enjoyed it. I went to her house today. She wanted me to teach her play guitar. She's like trying her ass off playing 'California King Bed' by Rihanna and she keeps repeating " how come when i...How come when i..." haha. kesian die. Me? Oh, I was on the laptop. Chatting with a friend, sharing about her love life and turns out to be on the same boat as i do. Then, at 6 oclock, I went out with my cousin for ice cream. Then I decided to drove back to a place where i can never forget, Laman Tasik Budaya, Shah Alam. I know i shouldn't go there but I wanted to show my cousin the place. So to be more specific, we went to the hut where me and 'the guy' sat. Our signature on the hut's floor was scratched. Then I went to the rocks, and it is still there, just a little blurry tho. And I showed to my cousin how 'it' happened. I immediately turn into silence. Kakna giggled and said, " takpelah angah. ade yg lebih baik utk angah. jgn putus harapan. angah bukannya tk cukup bagus. nak kata angah tak cantik, cantik. alahh, jgn risau lah..." my thoughts straightly went back to normal. we walked to our car and drove back to my cousin's house. Took my beg and ready to went back home. I drove alone. I turned the radio volume to 17. All of a sudden, "With You" by Chris Brown played on the radio. I burst into tears! And, thank God I didn't hit anyone. Wiped my tears and I went, " what the fuck is wrong with you tasha? Fuck!" I know. Pretty stupid. So I stopped by the road, relax, cooling myself down, and off to the road.

Do you know why I suddenly burst into tears?
Because I realized, that for even how long I have to wait, he is still never coming back. He had found the girl that he wanted. The girl he called " She's half of me". It happened when I was at the Tasik while I was walking towards my cousin's car. I was twittering and he tweeted that to a friend telling that his gf is his half. Obviously, she is the one. and I was nothing back then.

Ewn, I was never in progression. I was only in denial. I pushed you away in the hopes of you see that I can be strong without you but all I wanted you to know, that is the moment when I really needed you the most. Things turned out to be wrong when we started talking recently. I shouldn't have talked to you. It made me too carried away. There was I again, thinking that maybe I would still have a chance with you. I'm sorry.


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