If you stay.
I hope he reads my everyday blog because I've been updating about him most of the time. I have to say this again and again, I miss him so much. Boy, I miss you, I miss you, I fucking miss you! Would you please, please tell me if you feel the same way too. Please, talk to me. I hate this solitude silence between us. I miss those " hai cik natasha azlan...", "hyeeee sayangggg....". haishh. I keep hearing it inside my ears, imagining it to happen again. How I love to hear that voice of yours. Especially the time you sang 'Beautiful Monster'. God! You were so good I could just eat you alive! and I miss the time when you surprisingly came to my house, pick me up and take me out. I liked it when people keep telling me, telling you " aww co cweet.." because humorously but seriously say that we both have the same rabbit teeth ==' sweet ape :/ I can't stop thinking about you. I woke up every morning, the first thing in mind was you. Before I go to bed, you were the last thing I thought about. Remembering our stories made me feel better. Remembering the sweet things we do. Breakfast on the beach, vandalism at the park writing our names at the hut we sat, arguing on cigarettes, dating in the library, playing kites, just go around anywhere. I desire you. If I was asked where I wanted to be right now, I say : In your arms. Nowhere else but there. I hate to say this but I want to wait for you, even if it takes a million years for you to change your mind. Starting from you, I don't think I wanna find anyone else because I feel like replacing you is harder than getting over you. Maybe if you've finally moved on with someone else, I would still be standing alone, afraid to let another guy gets into my life and destroys it. I pray that someday, just that one day, you'll remember me as the girl that is willing to stay right beside you at your worst and best times. I'll never stop loving even tho I know eventually I will, but for now, it'll just stay this way. I'll be fine. I love you, Ridzuan Azmi. I'm sorry to even bother you at certain times. A little text from me is how I say " I miss you ". :'(