It Ends Tonight.

21 Feb 2011, the day I don't even want to remember by next year. I decided to make it right, just for my own good. For almost 3months I know this guy, he is by far the most amazing guy I've ever met. He was first just a guy-a normal guy who refuses to be quite charming to a girl. He doesn't know how to flirt. He doesn't know how to pamper a girl. He doesn't know how to comfort a girl when she's upset. I don't know what hit me, but I'm eager to know him more. I asked for his phone number and after that, we kept texting each other. We called each other by cute names. We were on the phone until our credits ran out. We even fought for small things then we would get back together. After a few months, he turned out different. He was more loving and caring. He always scold me for not eating, “Awak nak kene gastric kea shashon? ". The first time I called him ' sayang ', he never said the same thing back. But I kept calling him ' sayang ' until he calls me that, and he did. By that time, I realized that I have taught him how to fit in into my life. I've changed him from who he was before and he even told me that I'm the first girl that he has ever been sweet to after for such a long time. Until the day we met on the 2nd February at KLCC, I was quite mesmerized. Simple and just the way I like it. He taught me words that he used with his friends. And then, after that day, I felt like something’s wrong was about to happen. We had a huge fight. The fight that brought us apart for a while. We were at peace just for a few days till I asked him “who am I to you? “. Things got really different afterwards. He didn't call me by cute names anymore. He rarely calls me. He even rarely text me. How it breaks my heart into little pieces. Once he told me that I was his best girlfriend ever. Reading his old messages feels like I'm still living in that moment when we use to enjoy our days together. Too sweet to remember however it's also heartbreaking to know it’s about to end. And for you to know, me and this great person, are just friends. For 2months, I always thought that we would be more than that but we're not. Always wanted to tell him how much I love him but I can feel that he can never felt the same way. And on this date (21 Feb.) I told him how much I miss him because we've been keeping each other apart for a week and I can't stand it. A lot of things around me reminded me of you. I told him “I love you " and he had never once told me that he loves me too. He replied, he misses me too but he doesn't want me to keep on hoping. The moment a read that message, what crosses my mind is to just let him go. So, I told him, I will never text him again, I won't think about him again, I will pretend that we never even knew each other. I won't keep my hopes on him anymore and he'll never hear anything about me. Just as he wanted. I have loved you as you wanted and now, I will do as you wanted. I can never find someone like you. Like I said, you're different. That's the reason I kept strong to stay with you but you insist me to keep away those feelings for you because you are too scared that you would hurt my feelings. You're so tight to your friends and you believed that you can never get a place for me in your life.
Adam, we were so good together, how come we could not handle. And now, you and I have to say goodbye. Sweet memories with you, Damdam.

Lots of love,
Shashon. :')

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