Dearest Ridzuan Azmi,

I never thought that this thing between us would happen. I never thought just because of a question my friend asked you, it made you think that way. and I never thought because of my jealousy, it cause us to become this serious. I told you I'm not good at being serious. My eyes may not cry reading what you said in our IMs but my heart cracks like only God knows how bad it was. I'm sorry that you thought I was different. You see me a smoker so I must be one social ass girl. I must have a heartless heart. I might not have feelings like jealousness or any immature girls attitude. well, I'm not like that. I maybe a smoker but that's just that. I don't go out socializing, I don't hang out all night all the time. I don't wear sexy and go out flashing myself at everyone. I'm just a girl that lives with imperfections in my life. I'm sorry if how you see I am now is way out of your expectations. I'm sorry. I can never be perfect. I don't wanna be perfect. I just wanna be someone that you can actually accept. I'm trying to take every single critics people throw at me. at least I know I'm not doing so good. I take everything you say with humbleness, I'll make an effort to make things better. if not for me, I'm doing it for you. for us. all those things we in between is very special. I appreciate every single of it. all the happy moments, overnight, lunches together, same outfit colour, chocolates, singing along, hugs and kisses. I can't tell you how happy I am to have you. still, God won't let us be happy all the time. Love is happy when its right and love hurts when its wrong. how am I supposed to tell you this. hmm.. okay. Just to let you know, after all these ups and downs we had, I still wanted to stay with you, because when I'm with you, I would still smile even if my heart doesn't seem to be doing so good. you should always know that,
I love you.

I just hope that we can always make things better for each other. I just, don't wanna lose you :'/

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