It's Been Awhile

Assalamualaikum,

I guess it has been ages since I last updated my blog. I think my last post was 2013 or something. Man its 2018 now! Hahaha. So, what happened during those years I haven't blog? 

1. I graduated for my Diploma in 2013.

2. I furthered my studies that same year in Hospitality and Tourism Management at MSU Shah Alam.

3. I've made a bunch of friends. Some are no longer friends. Met a few guys (potential boyfriend) but that didn't turned out good as well because guys there were assholes.

4. Finished my Bachelor's Degree in 2017.

5. Unemployed for more than a year now.

6. But currently I'm on training to become a part time lecturer.

So that's pretty much sums up 4 years of 'what happened while I wasn't blogging anymore' story. What about all of these exes included in my previous blogs?

1. Fairuz Shahyimi? I think he's still lingering around single or i'm not sure if he's single or not.

2. Ridzuan Azmi? He gain a whole lot of weight. He's married to someone I don't know.

3. Fendi Shah (not an ex but he was in my previous blog)? Well he got married to that Ika girl. Thats all I know. Not interested about them anymore.

4. Nazri Nasran? I hope he's dead. I don't know anything on his whereabouts anymore. Don't wanna know. At all. 

Well, for 2018, I'm about to have a job anytime soon. I'm planning on travelling the world. I'm still single btw. It's been 7years now. Doing good so far. I just hope that in the future I'll be able to focus more on myself.

Looking back at all the things I used to blog about made me miss all the good and bad times I had. Now is just neutral. I don't feel good and bad at the same time. Actually I don't feel anything. There isn't anything special going on. Hoping next year will be the biggest plot twist for me.

I guess that's pretty much it for now. I don't think I will update my blog often. There's nothing much for me to blog about. Haha. Okay. Bye!

Happy Mother's Day...

It all started on the first day of Puasa year 2013 when I was at Sabak Bernam and that one evening I received a call from my cousin, Kakna. She never calls me unless we have discussed something important and I would ask her to call me for updates. I was getting ready to head out to the nearest bazar in town to buy food for berbuka and Kakna called me left me speechless while I sat on the edge of my bed...

Me : hello kakna...
Kakna: haa angah... angah dekat mana?
Me: haha angah dekat sabak bernam lerr... asal?
Kakna: ohyeke... Angah taw tak mama baru accident?
Me: ha? Eh kakna jangan main2... 
Kakna: kakna tak tahu. Ni maklong baru call kakna suruh kakna bagitau angah...
Me: aaa... okay. nty angah try call ayah.
Kakna: okay... byee...
Me: ha okay bye...

My hand was shaking, my whole body was shaking. My lips weren't moving. Time seemed to slow down and my head started ringing right after the call. I tried my best to stay calm as possible and I walked slowly towards the living room to tell my bestfriend, Kina about what I just heard. Kina got up on her feet in shocked of hearing the news and immediately asked me to call my dad to ask if everything's fine. And so I did...

Me: Hello ayah...
Ayah: haa...
Me: ayah dekat mana? tadi kakna call angah bagitau mama accident?
Ayah: ha aa... tapi tataw teruk kea tak. ayah pon baru nak keluar rumah ni. cuba awak try call
           hakim sebab hakim ade dengan mama sekarang...
Me: *started crying* okay... angah...angah try call hakim...
Ayah: okay. nanti apa2 ayah bagitaw...

So I called my brother... After 5 times trying to reach him, he answered my call... But...

Me: hakim! kau dekat mana? Mama macam mane?
Hakim: tolonglah... *can't recall some of the words he said*... nanti aku bagitawlah...
Me: okay. nanti tolong call aku balik...

What made me even weaker was when my brother was speaking to me, he was definitely speaking with a heavy cry in his chest. The burden got even worst...

It was 6:35pm and my friends were ready to go out. I can't even move a muscle right after I burst into tears knowing that I can't be there to check on her and see if she's fine. I laid on my bed, buried my face into my pillow, spilled every tears sobbing my heart out. Kina went towards me to calm me down and suggested that I go out to get some fresh air hoping that it would help me wash away all my worries. So I got myself out of the house and decided to just go to the bazar. At the bazar, my heart was at ease and I bumped into some of my friends and I had to hold on to my tears and faked a smile as I go. I didn't buy anything. All of a sudden, all of my appetites just went down the drain and I wasn't hungry at all. I was busy thinking what were the odds of my mom getting into this accident. I was walking and praying at the same time. Then I was at pause when I received a text message from my eldest brother, Along. On the notification bar, there stated " Along sent you an 'image' ". My fingers were shaking as I was trying to open the image. It was a picture of my mother's car. Kina who was a few inches infront of me, stopped when she realized that I wasn't following her back. I burst myself into tears and cried even harder in the mist of people busy getting ready for berbuka and not giving a single shit about my surroundings. Kina ran right towards me and took my phone right of my hand and was also shocked with the picture. My knees felt to the ground, I felt so helpless. I couldn't breath as far as I remembered it was suffocating me and nearly passed out. Kina quickly grabbed me by my shoulders and carried me towards our car. I cried and cried, thinking how can I get home. I need to be with my mother right now. Then my friends and I went back to our house. The amount of tears I've shed right after I first heard about the news were nearly the entire ocean. Then Maghrib arrived but it was so gloomy. Usually I'll get very excited on the first day of fasting. But that day, right after I heard the azan... " Allahuakbar Allahuakbar...", I walked towards the bathroom, took my wudhu' and performed my prayers. Again, in my sujood, I cried and cried till there was no more left of tears in my eyes.

The first day I saw my mom... unconscious...

I managed to get home on the 2nd day of fasting. I wanted to see mom so bad. That morning, dad said we were going to my aunt's house in Shah Alam and all relatives were gathered there. My brothers and my sister had visited mom so my dad said I can visit her that day. And so me, my dad and three of my aunties followed to go and visit mom at Hospital Tungku Ampuan Rahimah, Klang. After we arrived at the hospital, one of the nurse insisted us to wait at the waiting area while my dad arranged all the payment required. For one long hour I stood there waiting, feeling so scared of seeing her condition, my dad who was sitting suddenly stood up..." haa tu mama dah sampai...". She was on her bed. She was...unconscious. There were wires everywhere. There was a machine on the side of her right leg. I guessed it was the heart monitor. I took a glance of my mother's face. A pipe was attached in her mouth. The view of her made my body trembled and I started to lose balance. My aunty took me by the shoulders and walked me towards the ambulance that my mom was headed to. I couldn't even stand near her, so I just stood five steps back from the ambulance. My aunty told me to sat next to my mom and whisper or talk to her so she could hear my voice. I couldn't. I don't have the power to confront all of this. Seeing her in such condition broke all of my sanity into pieces. So, I declined my aunt's persuasion and started crying again...

"Her condition..."

The next day, mom had to be transferred to Hospital Selayang because the only hospital with a liver specialist was at that hospital. It was said that her liver was badly severed from the hard impact. She had to undergo a surgery to recover. I was there at the hospital. Me, my dad and my aunty and uncle, Maklong and Paklong sat at the ICU entrance waiting for the visiting hours. We were there till the sun sets off because dad wanted to talk to doctor in charge. Then, maghrib. We had a little munch for berbuka and then all four of us went inside the ICU to see my mom and dad meeting the doctor. I had to listen what the doctor had to say, and I heard that the doctor had mentioned of a few fractures on her lower back bone and her neck. Right after the conversation ended, I saw dad making his way out of the ICU and headed towards the staircase. The heartbreak that my dad probably felt at that time, I felt it too. A few minutes later, visiting hours came to its time. We had to leave. Mak Long told me to say goodbye to mom before we leave. With all the courage I had, I sat right next to her right side of the bed...

" Assalamualaikum ma. Ni angah ni. Angah dah nak balik. Mama sembuh cepat eh? Nanti boleh kita semua buka puasa pastuh sahur sama-sama. Mama cepat bangun eh? Esok angah datang jumpa mama lagi..."

And I kissed her forehead, held her hand as I teared myself again... And then left her while looking back at her until I reached the corner towards the entrance door...


My inspiration...

Mom, I never knew such power you have. For years and years you have portrayed this incredibly unstoppable woman. How strong you are fighting everything that are going against you. Fighting everything just to make sure that you're still capable to see all your children growing up and become just like you. I was weak before I knew this, mom. I cried at stupid things that I know I shouldn't, I complained about petty things that I should know that I could handle them all by myself, I never take things seriously when I know it is for my best. You're truly what inspires me to become a better person, Ma. I never showed you how much I miss you or love you upfront but you know everything I do, I'm doing it just for you and dad. And that indicates of how much I wanted to show my appreciation to you and dad. I love you so much, Mama. Thank you so much for all your hardship in raising us five rebellious kids. Thank you for giving us more than what we needed. Thank you for scolding us whenever we disobey. Thank you for all the lectures that we have to listen to. Thank you for giving us a true reason to cry about. Thank you, Mama. My promise to always dedicate my life to become a successful person and to be able to share with you my success is a vow that I will forever hold on to. Happy Mother's Day, Mama.



Your Dedicated Daughter,
Natasha Azlan.

My mother survived this...

Date of Incident: 10th July 2013

Location: Highway to Puncak Alam.

Undetermined.

Then again,

"Maybe you shouldn't push people away too much because one day you're going to realize you've pushed away the people that really cared about you and you're going to miss a lots of fun things in your life. Take some risks, angah. Life is too short for regrets."- Kak Ana, February 2014.

It's not that I'm pushing people away. I'm just pushing people that doesn't give me enough credits for being there for them. Ungrateful people. Isn't 11 years of falling in and out of love considered as 'too much of a heartache' already? 

Sometimes, too strong...

This is what I would totally say to you...

" Sometimes, I acted all strong is because I have my reasons. I just can't take another heartbreak to deal with. I tried and tried to let you in. But the fact that I was so scared, I decided to just push you away. Here's the twist. 'I had feelings'. I've realized that I'm pushing away the people I like. Although roughly I've only known you for a few weeks, I got attached to the idea of keeping you because it's so much fun and interesting knowing that there's still someone out there who's willing to ring me when I'm sleeping, compliment my sleepy voice, appreciating my morning texts, wanting to know how special they are to me, wanting to spend time with me, telling me ' text me when you get home', reminding how capable I am of something, calm me down through hard situations and even treat me like I'm apart of you when we're sitting among your friends. After all, I'm a human too. Plus the fact that I am genuinely a girl. I have feelings. Despite of my act, trying to be all cool and heartless and stuff like that, inside, I'm just an abandoned home. No one to re-decorate, no one to live in. Just passers-by. No permanent guest. At one time, I would love to meet a person who would take a second to talk to me when I'm down, and when I'm about to leave, he would grab my hand and tell me, 'hold on. We're going to work this. Just don't give up on me yet'. But I guess, I'm still the only one who is foolish enough to do all of that for someone. Pleasing you, trying to win your heart and I had to be so strong when all of my effort seems wasted. In the end, being strong is the only choice I have. Putting on my fake smiles is like wearing make-up every time I go out. And by the time I reached home, I'll wash away all my smiles. Whats left of it, is just the lonely me. I was so eager to show you how much I can appreciate your existence. Eventually, I'm still not good enough to do so. I'd almost believe that you could be the best 'partner-in-crime', but I end up killing my own partner. And I'm sorry that I haven't done my best to stay. Well look on the bright side, at least someone better for you will come along. Unlike me, I still have many to catch up with since that relationship skills and those related to it are not in my resume. The best in life will arrive one day. I don't deserve you. You deserve better than this. Thank you for deciding to leave. It made me realize how lacking I am. 

And when there's no other way than to keep on moving, the best is just to keep looking forward and to not look back. It might never be the right time. And that's the hardest part of it."

Bullshit.

I did it again.
Fooled myself.
With thoughts of
    I can win you back,
I realized.

This is all bullshit.

The Hardest Part

Pretend you're happy, pretend we're fine

I guess that's easier after all this time

Talk about someone else then look in my eyes

I know you still hold on to us inside

But we watched that butterfly fly

I'd give anything just to be with you again but it's not the right time

And I'd give anything just to feel you on my skin

But it's not the right time and it'll never be the right time, will it?

It might never be the right time and that's the hardest part of it

I keep you in my mind even though you've gone

Holding on to nothing's easier than letting go

Stuck in the memory of what has been

Just please don't love another like you loved me

Time doesn't heal, it just leaves me asking why

I'd give anything just to be with you again but it's not the right time

And I'd give anything just to feel you on my skin

But it's not the right time and it'll never be the right time, will it?

It might never be the right time and that's the hardest part of it

And I don't know why I feel this way

If I could, I'd change, believe me

And I know that you feel the same, is it too late for saving?

Oh, here I go again

I'd give anything just to be with you again but it's not the right time

And I'd give anything just to feel you on my skin

But it's not the right time and it'll never be the right time, will it?

It might never be the right time and that's the hardest part of it

Fuck.

Why do i feel like i miss you,
All of a sudden?

Fuck.

Tidak mengapa.

The moment i sat with you, you'll hear all my laughter, jokes, dramas, stories and gossip.

I wont tell you this, but....

I am insecure. But i keep on flipping my hair so you wont noticed.

I am full of jealousy. But i treated you and everyone equally so it wont be that obvious.

I am weak. But I tried to appear strong and tough so i can make you believe that i am unbreakable.

I am a loner. But i talk a lot with random people and just open with anyone so i can make you see how bright i am.

I am nothing. But i tried showing you that i am something so you would be impressed.

I thought i had won your heart, but i lost it instead.

I tried to give you my best but i realized that my best is nothing but a total mess. And why does this rhymes?

I wanted to push you off a cliff, but we havent even started climbing.

I wanted to keep you, but i havent saved any space for you yet.

I wanted to cherish you, but i decided to cut it short.

I thought i was ready, but actually i'm not.

Awaked.

You appear in my dream,
And i woke up.
Fuck this.

Turn Around.

When you thought hope is giving you another chance, that's when things get rough.

When you gave your heart one more try in love, gave another chance in believing someone, doubts starts conquering me.

Intense. Dilemma. Lost.

via komputer riba

ahhh, it has been a while i update my blog thru my laptop. I miss those days when i depend so much on my laptop to go on social networks such as facebook and twitter. Now, my laptop is currently being used by my dad. Going through all my pictures and videos that i kept inside my laptop made me realized of how older i'm getting. My life has changed a lot. It seems funny looking back at my past. My pasts were funny as hell! All my exes, my friends, and even some of them turned into enemies, people i know became someone i knew. I found myself laughing about all the things that had happen.

My air-conditioner is going crazy right now. The little light on the machine is blinking and my room temperature is getting hotter. Here i am, lying on my bed, accompanied with one of my favorite slow songs 'Almost Is Never Enough' by Ariana Grande ft Nathan Sykes. The modern version of Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men. Nothing feels better than being in my comfort zone where there's nothing to worry about. Oh except my trashy living room. Mom's gonna kill me the next morning. Hmm. My thoughts tonight are, how do i say, safe. I'm not in my melancholic mood tonight. More to, i love my bed and the weather tonight. I can never get a good sleep though. Its this insomnia thing i had since my last semester. All the late stay up till the sun rise, still intact.

Maybe i should start looking for a job soon. Goodnight.

Permainan Syaitan.

Mimpi.

Aku rasa dreamcatcher yang aku buat semalam mcm, menjadi. Tak tahu lah. Tapi malam td, aku mimpi. Tak tahu lah nk kata mimpi indah atau buruk. Aku mimpi. Dan dia ada. Elok aku punya ingatan tentang dia hampir luput, dia datang balik.

The dream.
I was playing around with two cute babies. And i sort of said that i wish those babies were mine.
And then,
He showed up.
He said something like those babies are our babies.
I told him to stay away from me
But he kept telling me the babies are ours.
He even wrote it on a paper.
I can't recall every pieces of the dream.
It was blurry.
But his face was crystal clear.

Mimpi kan? Permainan syaitan. Aku harap...

"Mimpi hanya mimpi. Takkan jadi realiti..."

Night Owl.

Masih berjaga dgn nota cost control.
Baca dan baca dan baca dan baca.
Apa yang aku baca aku pon tak tahu. Dr td pening lagi. Nak tawakal pon aku taknak masuk dewan melenggang. Tak sanggup.

"Ya Allah, permudahkanlah segala urusanku esok. Bukalah seluas2nya pintu ilmu untukku."

Focus dah lari. Fikir nak balik jea. Nak kerja, nk carik duit, nk shopping. Otak dkt situ jea. Cost control nh, aduhai... tak tahu lahh. Takpelah. Teruskan membaca sampai pagi esok. Doa yang terbaik.

Goodnight.

Gula dan garam.

Dah 3 tahun kita menetap dkt hutan sabak nh. Mcm2 dugaan dan kisah kita simpan. Mcm2 aktiviti dan jalan dah kita lalui. Sg apong, teluk rhu, bno, tanah lesen, parit baru, pekan cowboy, sg besar, pekan sabak. Habis satu sabak kita jelajah. Dah 3 tahun aku belajar dkt Politeknik Sultan Idris Shah nh, seriously and honestly say, aku rasa beruntung gila tercampak dkt hutan nh. Social life aku pon tak terlalu hebat sbb hutan kan? So takde ape. Tp i have my friends. Bukan sekadar kawan biasa yg jumpa2 jea, "eh hi!". Nh yg kawan jenis, "tasha! Kau free tak? Lpk jom. Ade story.", "tasha, saya ada masalah. Nk kongsi dgn awak","weh tasha, kau dgn sape skrg?" "Tasha, jom makan. Kite belanja". Yeah, those kind of friends yg aku simpan. Time die ade masalah, die cerita dkt kite. Time kite ade masalah, die sudi pinjamkan telinga. Yg sentiasa doakan kesejahteraan kawan2. Ha giteww. Tp bila dah nak habis belajar nh, aku sedar jugak ramai yg dah mula tunjuk belang masing2. Malas lah nk ckp. Kang panjang lagi ceritanyeww. Tp alhamdulillah, Allah temukan aku masa sem1 dgn sahabat yg aku akan jaga sampai aku mati. Roomate aku time sem1. Walaupon skrg masing2 dah duduk rumah sewa lain2 tp masih rajin dtg jemput aku dgn kina pegi jalan2 luangkan masa bersama. Jah, kina dan dhilah. I am definitely going to miss you guys a lot after this. Jah, jaga lah diri elok2. Jgn carik penyakit. Dhilah, focus more on yourself than thinking about love. You are the only person that you need to pursue a better future and kina, if you love cooking, then go for it. Kalau dah ade motivation nak kurus, usaha kan. Mungkin aku pon ade bnde yg aku kne igtkan diri aku sendiri jugak. Tuhlah sbb adenye korg. Kalau takde korg, mungkin aku dah berhenti belajar, kot? Haha.

Anyways, thanks for the memories. A very good 3 years indeed.

Disappearance.

Since everything had broken into little tiny micro pieces, the wind decided to just blow it away just to make sure i won't pick up those pieces back and put them back together again. But too bad, the wind is blowing those dust all over my face.

Its pretty hard. I mean, its not that it hasn't been this hard before. Maybe i need some more time to let all the memories slip away. Even hearing the word 'Starbucks' or 'stars' or 'cockroach', then all of the things we used to do or say, it replays again inside my head.

Dont ask me. I dont even know why am i so attached to you. You gave me like 20% effort but i'm still hanging on as if you gave me so much or too much to cherish. Maybe i just miss all the memories as much as i miss you. Even if i'm no longer talking to you or even looking at you in the eyes, i still feel like it was just yesterday i last talked to you. But no. That was 4months ago.

Now, after all the blurred things has become so clear to you, you've vanished completely. You are out of sight. It was never in my thoughts of pushing you away after what you did. I was trying to make you see how hard this is for me to completely not being myself and tell you how much you mean to me. I was never in my own state when i tried to make you see that behind those smiles you shared with that someone whom you should know that she belongs to someone else, that was all less than what i can provide.

I just hope one day, just one fine day, you'll find your way back to me. Although i might act like i'm no longer interested, but believe me, with all my heart, i will never let you disappear again. I'm still here. Keeping your seat empty.

I miss you, F.

Tak larat.

Nak taknak kena jugak.
Biar bengkak mata
Biar tak cukup tidur
Aku buat nh sume utk kau
Utk kau juga
Janji dgn aku
Yang kau takkan hampakan aku

Boleh eh Law? Aku dah tak larat nak hadap kau lagi nh.

Sembang karma?

Cukuplah org dah pijak aku, tikam blkng aku, guna2kan aku selama hari. Bila aku buat baik, nh lah die. Bila aku buat taik sikit, terus judge aku. Ckplah aku nh bitch lah liar lah kasar lah ape lah. Aku biar lah org nk ckp mcm tuh dkt aku. Org2 tuh tak knl aku. Aku takde masalah langsung doh kalau org buat baik dgn aku. Aku buat baik balik. Tp bila org dah layan aku mcm shit, kau expect aku still senyum dan biar kau layan aku mcm shit habis2an? Kau silap lah john. Aku dah muak dgn sisa2 karma aku dr zaman dulu disebabkan kesalahan org lain.

"Aku buat baik dgn org, org baling taik dkt aku, karma sampai dkt aku dulu."

Tp takpelah. Allah itu maha adil. Bukan nak sembang agama pulak, tp we all know life is fair. Sesusah2nye hidup atas dunia nh, bila org yg campak kite kebawah untuk berada diatas, bila kite usaha utk capai keatas, org tuh jugak yg akan mintak pertolongan kite. Time tuh lah die akan igt pepatah melayu bujang,

"Baru kau tahu langit tuh tinggi ke rendah."

Aku dah serik kne game dgn org. Setiap kali aku cuba lari dari org2 mcm nh, die akan dtg balik. Aku anggap ini sbg lagi satu ujian utk aku. Cuma aku slalu igtkan diri aku sendiri utk stay strong and have faith on myself.

Silap langkah.

Good job tasha. Good job well done.
Kau slalu take the wrong step tasha.

Aku dah tahu yg bnde takkan berlaku tp aku nk jugak percaya yg satu hari nty aku punye pemikiran nh betul. Aku nak jugak fikir yg satu hari nty peluang tuh akan dtg balik. Aku salah. Serious.

I dont know where this would drag me to but right now, okay, decision has been done. This time, its final. What i am feeling right now is stupidity. Wait. Its beyond that! Why tasha why. Why did you plan on staying with him when all this time you know chances aren't for everybody. He took you for granted lah siaa. He played with your heart then he ignored you as if you didnt even exist in this world. Isnt that obvious enough tasha??!! What do you expect? After you get back home he would go knocking on your front house, on his knees begging for forgiveness and a hand in marriage?? There. Laugh at your own face tasha.

I know i was wrong in the beginning. But the reason why i stayed was because i have my beliefs. And i trusted my instincts since that my instincts were always accurate. I didnt see this coming, really. Im really sorry dear self. I put myself on too much pressure. And now i realized that beautiful things wont happen to someone like me. Maybe, there was never a reason for me to stay at all. I was hallucinating of an event that was never ever going to be, real. Thats okay. I wish i had someone that could lend me shoulders or a pair of ears or maybe just someone to hold but that one believe i had from the first day i knew love is, my strength. If it wouldnt have been for my strength, i wouldn't be here cheering myself to keep on with life. Altho it may seemed like im talking to myself, well apparently i sounded more convincing than anyone else.

Keep smiling Tasha. You know how much the people around you loves that. Especially the ones that brought you down :)

#throwback

So last Saturday on the 5th of October, me kina and bella decided to run off somewhere to release our tense from all these hectic lives in Sabak Bernam. So si bella decided to head down to Kuala Lumpur for Tempatan Fest 3.0 at Jalan Kia Peng.

So basically Tempatan Fest is a local event that promotes all the things on local clothing brand such as Rare, Pieces, Legit, Projek Rabak and many more. Plus with local bands yang baru nak menaik will perform on that day to promote themselves. Well frankly to say, Tempatan Fest 3.0 that was held that day doesn't seem to match my expectations. The location was too tight. Maybe they only rent small size lots just good enough to fit all the tents. The passage in between the tents were really narrow, i mean for someone that is short like me, i can't barely breathe inside the tall crowd.

And then, bila dah sampai sana baru teringat yang aku ada kawan yg berkecimpung dalam scene nh. Pusing2 carik booth dorg, jumpa jugak setelah hampir 9tahun tak jumpa. Alhamdulillah dorg cam muka aku. Haha. So my friend, Ariffin Ramlee happens to be the Chieftain of Legit brand and Iyzie James is the investor for Legit brand. Dua2 nh classmate aku time darjah 5-6 masa dkt sek sec13, Shah Alam. Borak2, beli jugak aku satu baju dorg sbg tanda support. And aku dpt byk sticker free and also lighter Legit edition free. Haha seems legit right? And dpt jugak bergambar bersama mereka. Hihi

So habis pasal tempatan natang tuh. Malam tuh, aku kina dan bella teruskan perjalanan utk ke Jalan Tar sbb bella nk shopping tudung. Pusing punye pusing sampai sesat tp sampai jugak. Dah dpt tudung die tibe2 die ckp ade 'kwn' die ajak makan mlm. 'Kawan' die nak belanja. Org kata tak elok tolak rezeki so we proceed lah dgn makan malam berbelanja tuh. Aku punye lah igt makan mcd kea mamak kea, skali die bwk g makan dkt kedai pak2 arab. Al-Diafah kot nama kedai tuh. Damn. Aku terus mcm, jatuh weyh self-esteem aku! Aku bukan suka sgt org blnje mahal2 nh. Tp tuhlah kan, rezeki. So makan2 then pulanglah kami ke Sabak semula pada jam 10 lebih malam.

So stress sume dah lepaskan dah. Assignment pon byk yg dah settle. Alhamdulillah. Minggu dpn cuti seminggu dan goodluck me for final exam. Yay! So itu jelah for today. Bye!

Rain.

"Every drop,
Wash all my sorrow.
The breeze,
Puts me in serenity.
The sound,
Takes me on a wonderful dream."

Dah lama jugak tanah sabak bernam nh tak hujan. Bila dah hujan rasa sejuk jea. Tenang jiwa buat sementara. Selamat malam, cinta.