10/9/13

Silap langkah.

Good job tasha. Good job well done.
Kau slalu take the wrong step tasha.

Aku dah tahu yg bnde takkan berlaku tp aku nk jugak percaya yg satu hari nty aku punye pemikiran nh betul. Aku nak jugak fikir yg satu hari nty peluang tuh akan dtg balik. Aku salah. Serious.

I dont know where this would drag me to but right now, okay, decision has been done. This time, its final. What i am feeling right now is stupidity. Wait. Its beyond that! Why tasha why. Why did you plan on staying with him when all this time you know chances aren't for everybody. He took you for granted lah siaa. He played with your heart then he ignored you as if you didnt even exist in this world. Isnt that obvious enough tasha??!! What do you expect? After you get back home he would go knocking on your front house, on his knees begging for forgiveness and a hand in marriage?? There. Laugh at your own face tasha.

I know i was wrong in the beginning. But the reason why i stayed was because i have my beliefs. And i trusted my instincts since that my instincts were always accurate. I didnt see this coming, really. Im really sorry dear self. I put myself on too much pressure. And now i realized that beautiful things wont happen to someone like me. Maybe, there was never a reason for me to stay at all. I was hallucinating of an event that was never ever going to be, real. Thats okay. I wish i had someone that could lend me shoulders or a pair of ears or maybe just someone to hold but that one believe i had from the first day i knew love is, my strength. If it wouldnt have been for my strength, i wouldn't be here cheering myself to keep on with life. Altho it may seemed like im talking to myself, well apparently i sounded more convincing than anyone else.

Keep smiling Tasha. You know how much the people around you loves that. Especially the ones that brought you down :)

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