Since everything had broken into little tiny micro pieces, the wind decided to just blow it away just to make sure i won't pick up those pieces back and put them back together again. But too bad, the wind is blowing those dust all over my face.
Its pretty hard. I mean, its not that it hasn't been this hard before. Maybe i need some more time to let all the memories slip away. Even hearing the word 'Starbucks' or 'stars' or 'cockroach', then all of the things we used to do or say, it replays again inside my head.
Dont ask me. I dont even know why am i so attached to you. You gave me like 20% effort but i'm still hanging on as if you gave me so much or too much to cherish. Maybe i just miss all the memories as much as i miss you. Even if i'm no longer talking to you or even looking at you in the eyes, i still feel like it was just yesterday i last talked to you. But no. That was 4months ago.
Now, after all the blurred things has become so clear to you, you've vanished completely. You are out of sight. It was never in my thoughts of pushing you away after what you did. I was trying to make you see how hard this is for me to completely not being myself and tell you how much you mean to me. I was never in my own state when i tried to make you see that behind those smiles you shared with that someone whom you should know that she belongs to someone else, that was all less than what i can provide.
I just hope one day, just one fine day, you'll find your way back to me. Although i might act like i'm no longer interested, but believe me, with all my heart, i will never let you disappear again. I'm still here. Keeping your seat empty.
I miss you, F.