Raya 2011

hyeeee uolls ;) Eh, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin. Sorry lah kalau aku buat salah kt korang. k,dah habis disitu. Harinh dah raya ke2, kan? yelah kot. harinh dah masuk 4hari, kot aku duduk kt kampung dkt pahang nh. 1st raya was the best. Karok dgn cousins, tgk Man Utd vs Arsenal match dkt mamak, lpk teluk chempedak. everything runs well when you have all your cousins around you. HAPPENING! laughing, gossiping. hehe. I'm so gonna miss this year's Raya. because 1: Uncle or so-called-uncle Samuel isnt here to disturb my family again, 2: me and my cousins get to bond even tighter :) even tho aku takde boyfriend nk omey2 di bulan yang mulia dan lagi indah ini, but i have my family :') the best thing ever that no one can offer. Selamat hari raya again guys and have a great one.


xoxoxox,
N.A

So here's the thing :

You know, I get really annoyed with Malay girls these days. You know why? Here's why :

- So I was at Sunway Pyramid with my family for a little shopping. Then I saw this girl. She was wearing a really, REALLY short skirt. Babe, if you happen to have the most drop dead gorgeous legs, I don't mind but seriously, you need to hide those legs honey. Don't show off your ' perfect ' legs to the public especially now its Fasting Month. BULAN PUASA ! Respect lah orang lain bodo. Perempuan apelah kau nh. Pastuh taknak cakap lah make up pulak tebal mane. Kalau letak die sebelah Ronald McDonald, dah nampak mcm sibling taw tak? ishh, pity you. Aku sebagai kaum perempuan malu kot kau keluar mcm tuh. Pastuh dok tergedik2 dgn jantan. Adoi. Memalukan gileww!

If you stay.

I hope he reads my everyday blog because I've been updating about him most of the time. I have to say this again and again, I miss him so much. Boy, I miss you, I miss you, I fucking miss you! Would you please, please tell me if you feel the same way too. Please, talk to me. I hate this solitude silence between us. I miss those " hai cik natasha azlan...", "hyeeee sayangggg....". haishh. I keep hearing it inside my ears, imagining it to happen again. How I love to hear that voice of yours. Especially the time you sang 'Beautiful Monster'. God! You were so good I could just eat you alive! and I miss the time when you surprisingly came to my house, pick me up and take me out. I liked it when people keep telling me, telling you " aww co cweet.." because humorously but seriously say that we both have the same rabbit teeth ==' sweet ape :/ I can't stop thinking about you. I woke up every morning, the first thing in mind was you. Before I go to bed, you were the last thing I thought about. Remembering our stories made me feel better. Remembering the sweet things we do. Breakfast on the beach, vandalism at the park writing our names at the hut we sat, arguing on cigarettes, dating in the library, playing kites, just go around anywhere. I desire you. If I was asked where I wanted to be right now, I say : In your arms. Nowhere else but there. I hate to say this but I want to wait for you, even if it takes a million years for you to change your mind. Starting from you, I don't think I wanna find anyone else because I feel like replacing you is harder than getting over you. Maybe if you've finally moved on with someone else, I would still be standing alone, afraid to let another guy gets into my life and destroys it. I pray that someday, just that one day, you'll remember me as the girl that is willing to stay right beside you at your worst and best times. I'll never stop loving even tho I know eventually I will, but for now, it'll just stay this way. I'll be fine. I love you, Ridzuan Azmi. I'm sorry to even bother you at certain times. A little text from me is how I say " I miss you ". :'(

Imma frigid little bitch.

i can honestly say, he's been on my mind since I woke up today. I look at our photographs all the time. Memories just keep coming back. I start to think about the little things, I'll remember till I cry. Then I decided to take my chances to tell him how I feel about this, and this is what I said :


" I'm sorry that I have to be honest to you tonight. I don't wanna wait a thousand years to be this honest to you. I might as well say it now. First of all, biggest apologies for everything. I mean everything that had happened between us. It's been a month now after our break up. Frankly said, it's been hard for me to go through this especially when we're still seeing each other. I keep recalling memories we created. I went to places we've been to. But slowly I can feel that we're starting to move away from each other. We see each other in college but we have to act like we're a total complete strangers. Ignoring you, ignoring me like we never knew. I know it supposed to be that way, but with you, I can't. Avoiding you is the one thing I can't get away from. I've been trying to get close to you again. I tried so hard but I guess my effort don't paid enough. That's when I realize that I have a lack of effort on you. I easily give up on you. Everytime you're trying to walk away, I didn't stand in your way. I just let you pass by. Just like what happen when you wanted to break up with me. I should've made you stay but instead I let you off. The biggest mistake so far I did to you and I hope somehow I could repay my guilts. I don't ask much from you. I don't wanna know the reason why you wanted us to break. All I wanted to know if all those months we've gone through, was it real or was it just some propaganda couples do. Just so you know, till today, I've never stop loving you. Even if my friends see me hating you, I wanted you to be the only person to know that I don't and never can hate you. I really do love you. If this seemed wrong to you, I'm sorry. I just have to let you know before you move on to another girl's arms. I can't bare to see you with another girl without knowing how I really feel..."

so that's basically what I said to him. I felt much better to just let it all out. I miss him so much :'( I miss those hugs and kisses we share. I miss everything we had. The only prayer I keep is for us to be together again. Why does it has to this hard to move on?! I tried and tried but I can't! I need him. He's all I have :'( I don't want anyone else but him :'(

I Miss You, Ridzuan Azmi. I Love You :'(

We'll Be A Dream.

hye night owls. it's amazing that I'm still awake at 3 o'clock and not giving a shit about waking up early tomorrow when I know that my class starts at 8. it happens all the time. so yeah, its almost 3. friends been asking me why am I still awake. I said " Ado den kesah? " then they would say " -.-' '' sorry guys. i really have no clue. Just now all of a sudden I have this 'rajin' spirit. I'm doing my assignments, decorating my notes. cop, I feel sleepy already. can I skip this? kbye

T_T