Silap langkah.

Good job tasha. Good job well done.
Kau slalu take the wrong step tasha.

Aku dah tahu yg bnde takkan berlaku tp aku nk jugak percaya yg satu hari nty aku punye pemikiran nh betul. Aku nak jugak fikir yg satu hari nty peluang tuh akan dtg balik. Aku salah. Serious.

I dont know where this would drag me to but right now, okay, decision has been done. This time, its final. What i am feeling right now is stupidity. Wait. Its beyond that! Why tasha why. Why did you plan on staying with him when all this time you know chances aren't for everybody. He took you for granted lah siaa. He played with your heart then he ignored you as if you didnt even exist in this world. Isnt that obvious enough tasha??!! What do you expect? After you get back home he would go knocking on your front house, on his knees begging for forgiveness and a hand in marriage?? There. Laugh at your own face tasha.

I know i was wrong in the beginning. But the reason why i stayed was because i have my beliefs. And i trusted my instincts since that my instincts were always accurate. I didnt see this coming, really. Im really sorry dear self. I put myself on too much pressure. And now i realized that beautiful things wont happen to someone like me. Maybe, there was never a reason for me to stay at all. I was hallucinating of an event that was never ever going to be, real. Thats okay. I wish i had someone that could lend me shoulders or a pair of ears or maybe just someone to hold but that one believe i had from the first day i knew love is, my strength. If it wouldnt have been for my strength, i wouldn't be here cheering myself to keep on with life. Altho it may seemed like im talking to myself, well apparently i sounded more convincing than anyone else.

Keep smiling Tasha. You know how much the people around you loves that. Especially the ones that brought you down :)

#throwback

So last Saturday on the 5th of October, me kina and bella decided to run off somewhere to release our tense from all these hectic lives in Sabak Bernam. So si bella decided to head down to Kuala Lumpur for Tempatan Fest 3.0 at Jalan Kia Peng.

So basically Tempatan Fest is a local event that promotes all the things on local clothing brand such as Rare, Pieces, Legit, Projek Rabak and many more. Plus with local bands yang baru nak menaik will perform on that day to promote themselves. Well frankly to say, Tempatan Fest 3.0 that was held that day doesn't seem to match my expectations. The location was too tight. Maybe they only rent small size lots just good enough to fit all the tents. The passage in between the tents were really narrow, i mean for someone that is short like me, i can't barely breathe inside the tall crowd.

And then, bila dah sampai sana baru teringat yang aku ada kawan yg berkecimpung dalam scene nh. Pusing2 carik booth dorg, jumpa jugak setelah hampir 9tahun tak jumpa. Alhamdulillah dorg cam muka aku. Haha. So my friend, Ariffin Ramlee happens to be the Chieftain of Legit brand and Iyzie James is the investor for Legit brand. Dua2 nh classmate aku time darjah 5-6 masa dkt sek sec13, Shah Alam. Borak2, beli jugak aku satu baju dorg sbg tanda support. And aku dpt byk sticker free and also lighter Legit edition free. Haha seems legit right? And dpt jugak bergambar bersama mereka. Hihi

So habis pasal tempatan natang tuh. Malam tuh, aku kina dan bella teruskan perjalanan utk ke Jalan Tar sbb bella nk shopping tudung. Pusing punye pusing sampai sesat tp sampai jugak. Dah dpt tudung die tibe2 die ckp ade 'kwn' die ajak makan mlm. 'Kawan' die nak belanja. Org kata tak elok tolak rezeki so we proceed lah dgn makan malam berbelanja tuh. Aku punye lah igt makan mcd kea mamak kea, skali die bwk g makan dkt kedai pak2 arab. Al-Diafah kot nama kedai tuh. Damn. Aku terus mcm, jatuh weyh self-esteem aku! Aku bukan suka sgt org blnje mahal2 nh. Tp tuhlah kan, rezeki. So makan2 then pulanglah kami ke Sabak semula pada jam 10 lebih malam.

So stress sume dah lepaskan dah. Assignment pon byk yg dah settle. Alhamdulillah. Minggu dpn cuti seminggu dan goodluck me for final exam. Yay! So itu jelah for today. Bye!

Rain.

"Every drop,
Wash all my sorrow.
The breeze,
Puts me in serenity.
The sound,
Takes me on a wonderful dream."

Dah lama jugak tanah sabak bernam nh tak hujan. Bila dah hujan rasa sejuk jea. Tenang jiwa buat sementara. Selamat malam, cinta.

Kenapa eh?

Everytime i feel like moving on, i just can't. I would make myself stay in this unwanted condition.

Aku tahu yang dia takkan kembali, tapi kenapa perasaan aku masih taknak pergi?

Masih berharap?
Seperti dulu?
Ada harapan ke kali ini kisahnya tak seperti dahulu?
Mungkin perkara sama akan berlaku?

Siapa tahu.

Selamat.

Rasa mcm awkward gila bila dah lama tak update blog. Hihik.

Hi everyone! How you guys doin? So disebabkan dah lama sgt skip cerita pasal hidup aku, so i'll tell you the short review of what happened back then :

• First, on my fifth semester i got 3.33. Tak dekan.
• Then, masa cuti semester aku buat keje part time dkt this restaurant called Scrummy dkt SpaceU8.
• Dalam pertengahan bulan5, aku break dgn ex aku yg Sabah tuh, Nazri setelah 7bulan bercinta.
• Then, aku start rapat dgn sorg lelaki nama Fendi yg merupakan seorang head chef dkt Scrummy.
• Bila aku dah nak habis keje dalam hujung bulan6, aku knl seorang perempuan nama Ika yang merupakan seorang pekerja part time baru di Scrummy.
• Lepas aku dah masuk balik poli untuk semester yang terakhir, aku dgn kawan baik aku, Eqa yang sebelum nh bergaduh selama beberapa bulan sudah berbaik semula.
• On the 21st of July, aku sewa kereta dari Sabak utk ke Shah Alam atas niat nak buat birthday suprise utk Fendi sbb birthday die on the 22nd of July. Bawak guitar sbb dah buat lagu utk die but instead of staying and listen to my song, he decided to go back home and left me at Scrummy looking like a total idiot.
• Selepas beberapa minggu aku dkt poli, aku dgn Fendi semakin menjauh dan last2 tidak bertegur langsung. Sampai skrg.
• Selepas beberapa siasatan yang telah dijalani, didapati Fendi dgn Ika ada sorok something dari aku.
• Sekarang, aku dgn Ika bukan lagi kawan sbb die tahu aku suka dkt Fendi tp belakang2 dorg keluar sama2.
•  Berapa minggu lepas, group Final Year Project aku telah berjaya menghasilkan snack innovation iaitu 'Corn Silk Cookies'. Biskut enak yang dihasilkan dgn menggunakan bulu jagung.
• Selepas settle dgn fyp, proceed dgn Bazar Niaga Siswa. Ada sedikit komplikas during the process and operation of the bazar. Masalah grouping. Dah settle. Posmotem telah dilakukan tapi harap maklong, kemaafan saya sangat mahal untuk diberi kepada org yg tak reti menghargai.

Now? Haha tinggal lagi seminggu jea. Lepas seminggu, dah final exam. Sikit lagi jea sha. Lepasnh, terlepas lah kau daripada dibelenggu oleh orang2 di Sabak Bernam nh. All the stress and headache will be over. Not till long. Aku kne sambung degree kann. But for now, i'm going to finish what i started. Keep moving forward. Mimpi nak beli kasut byk2 lah, almari kasut lah apelah. Kannnn?? Hmm. Insya Allah segala urusan akan dijalankan dgn lancar. Nak give up pon dah terlambat. Aku dah nak sampai penghujung. Weyhh penat gak ah kalau nak update blog pakai phone. Ergh. Kay tuh jelah. Bye