This one is for you guys.

Heyy my chicks and dicks! omg omg. I can't believe that I'm actually going. Going to a different life. Life that I've been waiting for so long. Aiceh :p Well, all I wanted to write tonight is specially dedicated to my friends. My beloved Atiq Mazlan and Eqa Mazhar. You two have been such strong backbone for me. You guys are the kinda friends I can't afford to lose. Today, Atiq keep telling me not to go. She told me she's about to cry. Haha, Atiq. I won't be going away forever lah minah. I'll be home just to see you. Trust me I would. Aku tak sabar nak celebrate birthday kite. We'll be sure to make it a memorable one. Okay? All for us. I can't believe that I still have my friends when I'm going all up and down. Macam mane aku nk explain? You all are soooo SOO amazing. Thanks for those yg slalu bg advise, always telling me to cheer up, to smile, to keep on laughing. Ishh you guys rock okay? You definitely rock my fucking world. What would happen to me without you guys :') I love you guys more than just a word. Its pretty hard to explain how much I appreciate you guys. Hopefully when I'm there, you guys wont forget me. Because I will be needing you guys, EVERYDAY! :D Its that enough? haha. I hope so. Thank you thank you so so much weyh! Aku bg hadiah kt sorg2. Nahh! muah muah! hahaha. :p

Today jugak I met my grandma. She cried after giving me a hug. Opah, angah sayang opah okay? Opah jaga angah dari kecik lagi. Eventhough bile angah dah besar nh angah slalu buat hal dgn opah, slalu bgon lmbt, nk buat mcm mane lagi kan. Angah tetap sayang opah :') I'll always be your favourite grand daughter.

And to my family, mama, ayah, thanks for all your sincere support. My parents are by far the most loving parents ever. Okay I know korang ade lagi loving but I think I'm enough with mine. I love my family. My family is at the number 1 spot. My adik2, aku tak sayang korang. Korang suka buat taik dgn aku. Aku yg kakak nh lah korang nk buli. =.=' so not nice.

And lastly to my one and only sayang, Juno. Baby, I won't be long there okay? I'm gonna miss you really REALLY bad! Nty kite suruh kakcik jaga Juno elok2 k? I love you too much Juno. I'm gonna miss you every single day. I mean every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every month! haa every ape lagi?! Aku sayang kau gila babi taw! I will always do. :')

Fuhh, penat type. So, guys, pray for my survival there. HAHA. And always have me in your mind, because you guys are permanently in mine. =.=' :D Goodnight!

Lots of love and xoxoxoxoxoxoxox,
Natasha Azlan.

November Hates Me

Ergh! Ergh! ARGH!! For crying out loud! Man! Why?! Have I done something until you hate me this much, November!? I'm all stressed right now! Thank God I'm off to Poli this Sunday. No more blah blah blah babble babble babble. Everyone shut up! Urgh. Seriously guys, November is not my favourite month. Awak jahat dgn kite. sniff sniff. First, I let lose the guy I thought will last long. Then I have to confront more difficult situation, that is to not fall for a guy who is " in a relationship ". I know this may sound silly to you guys, but hey, frankly my life havent been easy on me. Okay, aku taw life tak sume kne senang, mesti ade susah. I'm not strong as you think I am. I'm not the girl who's capable to just move on and forget the past that to me it's something hard to let go. Okay? =.=' Cmon. Imma girl :) We're obviously have the weakest heart. How strong, how hard you go, someday you'll eventually feel like bursting into tears. But, I dont wanna show the whole world that I'm weak. My friends especially, knows me better. When I'm all down and moody, they'll make a joke just to make me laugh. And when I'm all high and crazy, they'll know something's wrong.

So Tasha, what did you do today? :
Takde buat ape pon. Mula2 pegi skolah pegi cop cop apejadah tah. Lepastuh pegi makan dkt mcd dgn zeera. Then balik rumah, back to same o same o life!

And that's basically what I did today. Bosan kan? Nicee. Babai

Something for tonight

Hey hey guys. Hmm I'm pretty bored tonight. Seriously there's nothing entertaining now except this cute girl singing this song. awww :) Today, I spent my day at Shah Alam. Early in the morning dah kne bukak mata and head down to DEMC Shah Alam for my medical check up. Doctor cakap Natasha, awak normal. Doc, saya mmg normal. =.=' Muka saya nh ade nmpk mcm org tak waras kea? Mungkin sbb saya dtg dgn muka baru bangun tido tp itu normal doc. Okay whatever. Lepas pegi hospital, me and my kakak sedara, Kak Ana, went to the bank to get some $$$$ man! woohoo today I'm a freaking rich woman! elehh not much pon. Oh oh! Otw to the bank I met with one of my old friend since we were in darjah5. His name is Ariffin Ramlee. Weee comel lah die. haha. Kalau kau baca nh ipen, aku tak ikhlas ckp tuh. hehe. And then me and my cousin went for lunch at KFC 13. My treat! haha. Diam ah. Then off to my cousin's hse to rest. Tired man! Lepastuh balik rmah. Okay bosan! =.=' bye

Hello College Life.

Whats cookin budss?! Hey hey, lama tak update blog. Been too I mean like freaking busy with my life. *cehh life lah sgt. So, hmm, okay2 tasha cool, say it slowly, I'm...going....hmmmm....to...Po..po..pooooliteknik SABAK BERNAM THIS SUNDAY! NO NO NO! Maigod. It feels like time just cut it short. Hmm, now my time comes. Its my time to crack my head studying. yayy T_T hmm. Well, the best part is tmpt study aku nh tak jauh mane so I can go back home anytime I want. YAYY! :D Okay, change the topic sha!

And and and, I cant cant wait for January to arrive. January, sila cepat sikit okay? Me and Atiq are planning this awesome party for our birthday. Hopefully it turns out well-planned. It's not like I always celebrate my birthday with my pals aite? Jyeahh. So, I'm turning 19, hehe and hey, what's wrong with a little fun? Just a little. Won't hurt nobody :) I won't tell where or when this party will be. Still in discussion dohh. Then I asked myself " Tasha, what do you expect for your special day? " Okay. Soalan cepumas. Kacang mamak. My friends, and umm maybe a boyfriend? Oh Oh! And of course presents sial. Nak dtg lenggang, makan pastuh blah mmg aku tembak sorang2. Takdelah. I'm just joking around *not.

Sambung balik hal poli tadi. Okay. Hmm. Of course when I got there, I'm gonna miss my friends, but who I miss the most is my Baby Juno. Hmm. Nty pagi2 I wont be waking up next to you :'( I wont be playing with you often. Uhuhuh. Ketua Poli, boleh tak aku bawak kucing aku skali? Sbb die jea yg pandai kejut aku pagi2. Kalau tak mmg aku tak bangun kot. Damn! Seriously man! I'm gonna freaking miss Juno. She's like my bestfriend I can't afford to lose. *bukan main lagi kan? family? Of course rindu family doh. Tp adik2 aku tak. Sume asyik buat taik ngn aku jea, malas nk rindu korang. Then, on Saturdays, I won't be joining my family going out anymore. Korang jalan lah tanpa aku. =.=' *sigh.

Well, I guess thats all chicks and dicks. Aku malas nk type byk2 tp korang tak baca. Okay, here comes regret. HAHA. aitte, chiaou !

From being "it's complicated" to "single"

Hmm, not much to say really. I can't sleep right now because it's still 10:45pm??!! Maigod, I thought its already pass midnight =.=' So today, I slept early, waiting for mum to take us out. She had this dinner with her blah blah blah I dont know who. After that I woke up, I think about 22:45pm something. Then I checked my phone in case mom called. and yeah, mom called. And there's one text message. And it aint mom. So there it goes. He wants to break up. And I said thats okay, as long as he's happy with his decision then, im cool (trying). I really do dont know where are my mistakes. I just wished you could tell me what I've did. I could do my best just to save our relationship but its pretty obvious that you dont want this thing between us. Well, thats okay though. Even if I know that I'm a weak person on the inside, I'll try my best to be more tougher.

So, this is for you. And I hope that you're happy with your decision and em', hopefully there would be someone far more better than I do, someone more perfect for you. Lastly, I forgive you :')

Things You Might Not Know About Me

- Only my closes friends call me Natty.
-I have a huge fear of bugs, especially Cockroaches. Flying ones sucks!
-I don't eat vegetables. =.='
-I have flaws. I mean, banyak.
-I'm not good at first date. *sigh
-Okay. For almost 6years bercinta, I've never cheat with any of my exs.
-I don't have flawless skin you guys. =.='
-I love my Juno more than I love anything else. hehe
-I smoke. Yes =.='
-Oh, I dont socialise a lot. But hey, I'm friendly though :)
-I hate when I feel like there's habuk under my feet.
-Uhh uhh! I love eating Milo itself. Sedap bodoh
-I play the piano and guitar. And I'm not good at both.
-Did I mention that I'm humble and modest ? ;)
-Sometimes when I'm bored, I start to dance around in my room.
-I'm 18 but I don't really act like one. So?
-I love beaches and I hate bithces.
-The things I love most about myself are my hair and my eyes. haha thefak!
-I've never received any flowers or sweet stuffs from any of my boyfriends. Kesian kan?
-Oh yeah, I pick my nose when my head goes blank. HAHA diam lah
-I have this dream of sitting on a beach all by myself witnessing the sun and the skies. :')
-I'm a creative sorta person. Birthday present kawan2 aku hand-made bhai.
-Music is like blood that runs through my veins.
-When I eat a lot, I'm not getting any fatter. And when I dont eat, I only stayed that way =.='
-I love to write. From essays, poems, lyrics or whatever that needs to write.
-When it comes to chocolate, I'm like its number 1 fan, no no, forever its fan.
-Oh this one you guys should know. I HATE PEOPLE WHO TORTURES ANIMALS ESPECIALLY CATS!
-And I also hate people who botak kan tanah to build stupid-then-left-abandoned building. STUPID!
-Sometimes, I'm a greener kinda girl. 0:)
-No, I don't look like Stacy AF. err, die lagi lawa dr aku =.='
-I love love love long romantic dates. awwww :')
-I dont do sexy. So I love wearing jeans and tees.
-Uhh uhh! I like talking to tourists. HAHA. " Yes sir? Need any help with directions? " ^^
-I speak English most of the time. Since I was just a kid.
-I soooooo hate NUMBERS! I hate counting. haha
- Imma good adviser and supporter when my friends confront with love problems. But when it comes to me, I have never been lucky in my love life. *sighhh
-Mama always get angry with me because I love to buy new clothes but only wear it a couple of times. heheh
- Oh lastly, I'm not as good as I look in my pictures. :)

3:21 a.m

Oh hello people-who-havent-sleep-yet. Like yeahh its 3something now, and I'm not asleep yet. Duhh =.= So, I dont really know what to talk about. Oh I love this thingy up here I found in my tumblr. This is soooo right.

Okay, change topic. I still miss him. We havent talk to eachother for like a couple of days now. I feel so lonely, really. Right now, I'm always feeling so sick. I don't eat a lot. I sleep a lot. I stayed up late like..now. Bad habits just getting worst. I dont know when is this going to last. I havent got any clue why you treat me this way. But maybe you dont know me so well. I'm not the kinda person who gives up so fast. I never back down when it comes to dealing with someone I love. Eventhough it hurts inside, I believe that I'll always have the stronger side of me. Always smile when I feel like sighing. Always laugh when I feel like crying. Always walk when I feel like lying. And always love when I feel like hating. I miss you FSBJ. So badly missing you. When will you realize this? Like are you even reading this? Hmm. I know " Happiness don't last forever. It'll only last maybe for seconds, minutes, hours, days or weeks. " You will only feel happiness for awhile and then you'll get back to your normal life. Sometimes its hard for me to go to sleep without you singing me song or specifically giving song lyrics before I sleep. And and, I really miss our second date in the car. You hold me tight, your head on my shoulder. Then you teach me how to french because, damnn I'm not really good at it. :p And how hard it is to let you go before we get back to our lives. After one hug, you hold me by the hand and I would go " awww one more one more " and another hug. :') Then after I got out the car, you said I Love You with a smile. And damnn, I slept smiling that night man! Jeezz. What more can I ask when I just want you in my life and I consider that as enough. But now, things are starting to fall apart. Little by little I feel like losing you. Sayang, I dont want that! Losing you means losing myself. Losing my faith, hopes and dreams. Maybe, thats what you want me to feel? Is it?

Bullshit. How niceee

Hello fuckers. Sorry, im a bit high today so I swear like fucking a lot. So today sucks. Pretty much nothing happened. Fun right? Hell jyeah. Oh, news buzz, boyfriend don't text at all. Nicee sayang. I don't mind. I'm good. I'm cool. =.= I have this highly level of patience. But whatever aite. Okay2. Good news mafakars. I'm finally moving out yo! Mom, dad. Please make it sure this time. I'm getting the hell outta 'ere. Afterwards, I'm getting a new life. More going out, more fun, more enjoying. Ohyeahhh. And there's no one stopping me :) hahahahahah *evil laugh. So my chicks and dicks, I'm coming right at yah!

Oh look here dumbassess, my wishlist! :

• move out move out!
• A brand new piano
• A car
• New cell
• Polaroid camera
• Rollerblade. *fucking want this
• Happier family and Juno <3
• All my babes and dudes.
• and lastly, omg I hate mentioning this. A good-hearted, loyal, honest, romantic, caring, would do just about anything, loving, sweet blah blah blah boyfriend.

HOME ALONE, not really.

Niceee. My family went to Johor yesterday and all alone at home is just me and my brother. Sumpah tak boleh menyirap lagi kea? =.= Nak ajak kawan lepak, sume malas lah apelah. Memang duduk rumah dgn Juno sampai teeerrrtido. Thanks to Juno for playing with me all night kan baby? Main geletek2 sampai kau dahaga, main kejar2 sampai penat and in the end tido same2 on my katil :') You're the best companion I've ever had.

Breakdown.

So it has been 3days me and sayang haven't text each other. To be honest, right after we first met,sayang has been so different. Before we met, he usually refuses to let me leave him alone. He wanted me to always be with him. And now, things ain't like that anymore. You're more busy with your skate life, but I don't mind. I know that skate's your life so I won't bother. I just need you. Most of the time, I felt lonely. I thought that now you're my sayang, you will always be here for me. But it didn't seem that way. And I also understand how complicated your money situation till you can't topup your number and give me a call. At least, show me a little effort. I used to stay up late just to wait for you on facebook, but eventually, you didn't showed up. And, I understand why.

Our second date was the most memorable one. That feeling when I'm with you won't slip away that easy. I kept thinking of it everytime I miss you. And when I feel like singing with you, I turn on our song Your Guardian Angel . Then I would smile and forget about my breakdowns. I don't wanna forget how you first hold my hand, how you first lean your head against me, how you look at me even if I can't really see where your eyes are, how you first touch my cheeks just to cheer me up, how you first kiss me on the cheeks and lips and how you first said I Love You to my face. Sayang, there's no forcing in love. I won't force you to love me and all. But once you mentioned it, my heart for one second, believed. If you're reading this, I'm sorry if I'm wrong. Some people just ain't that good at this, but me, I wanna be better. Just for you :')

Just you,

FSBJ. <3